Sexual Abuse

1 in 3 girls and women are sexually assaulted in their lifetime.

1 in 6 boys and men are sexually assaulted by the age of 16.

 

Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse

Our society’s prevalent images of men claim that men are always strong, invulnerable, stoic, and in control. Despite these stereotypes, men of all ages, sizes, strengths, looks, personalities and sexual orientations are victims of sexual assault.  As a result, male survivors frequently experience emotions such as:

  • anger

  • anxiety

  • confusion over sexual intimacy

  • loneliness

  • pain

  • shame

It is not unusual for sexual abuse to leave a male survivor questioning his masculinity. This, among other reasons, is why men are less likely to report a sexual assault. The fact that men are more frequently assaulted by other men may cause a survivor to question his sexual orientation. These reactions are common because our society perpetuates the myth that sexual assault is about sexual attraction not domination and power. And, regardless of gender, the assault is never the survivor’s fault.

LGBTQ survivors of violence can expect the same range of emotional responses to assault as any heterosexual survivor and often fear reaching out for help due to homophobia. The layers of oppression, bias, bigotry and discrimination can complicate a survivor’s healing. Special concerns for the LGBTQ survivor include:

  • Insensitivity among social service/health care providers or law enforcement

  • Disbelief that the assault or abuse really occurred

  • Belief that same sex violence is “mutually combative”

  • Guilt or shame because of internalized oppression

  • Lack of support from friends or family

  • Fear of public disclosure

Trauma Reactions

Survivors may experience sexual problems after the abuse. They may not want sexual contact of any kind, or may no longer enjoy it – this may be exacerbated if their partners blames them or are impatient with their recovery; alternatively, they might become more sexually active than before. All of these reactions are normal and understandable.

Survivors may make drastic changes in home, work, school or relationships; this can be an important part of helping them feel safe and in control again. Some of these coping skills will be healthy and supportive in their daily functioning. Some will not be very healthy and will have a negative emotional impact. Their various ways of coping may include:

  • Substance abuse

  • Self-injury

  • Eating disorders

  • Denial

  • Numbness or lack of emotion

  • Rapid, inexplicable mood changes

  • Shame

  • Guilt

  • Feeling dirty

  • Anger or desire for revenge

  • Fear

  • Nervousness and Worry

  • Being easily upset

  • Powerlessness and loss of control

  • Grief and loss

  • Feeling “different” from other people

  • Loss of Self-esteem

  • Losing interest in life

  • Depression

  • Suicidal feelings

I work with clients who have been emotionally, sexually, or physically traumatized at sometime in their lives. Each of us has had trauma in our lives and each of us has coped with it in a different way and each of us deserves a secure place to heal with a therapist that understands the process.

My focus is supporting trauma survivors, their families, friends, and significant others and helping illuminate an individual path forward.